Lessons compiled from going round the Sun

Welcome to my newsletter, where I share all the magic I experience on this side of the universe. My life is Brilliant, my love is pure, I hope the Universe diffuses a bit of magic from me to you

Hello, I'm Wildflower.
I adopt different names that reflect the seasons of my life, and currently, I go by wildflower.eth.

The name "wild" represents my adventurous nature, while "flower" symbolizes my empathy, romance, and delicateness. The addition of "eth" signifies my strong belief in the transformative power of Blockchain and technology on a global scale.

Throughout the years, I have been actively writing. However, I experienced a significant setback when I lost everything, starting with my blog and then my newsletter. I am intimately familiar with the concept of "starting from scratch" once again.

As an annual tradition coinciding with my birthday in June, I compile a newsletter that captures all the valuable lessons I have learned throughout the year.

This year is unique different, and somewhat special, think of it as the year I come into myself. I hope this inpires you to do something great sincerely

wildflower.eth

This past year felt like a slow one, there were many things I was expecting to happen that didn’t. I rang my friend and we spoke about these things and he said something to me

Sometimes it seems nothing is happening in decades and other times decades happen in days, thank you Sayo.

It made me see things differently, although it felt like my life was on standby, it was actually my planting season and boy did planting happen, here are some lessons I learned from all that digging.

1. Niceness Will Kill You

If there’s anything I’ve learned living with fifty very unique people from 10 African countries, it’s that being nice is not sustainable. I was my bubbly lovely-wanting-to-hug-everyone-self and I quickly realized that would not work here

There were people who for no reason did not like me, no just cause. for the first months, it bothered me, and I kept trying to change people’s perceptions of me.

Now I am kind, not nice. There’s a clear difference, while niceness is trying to please everyone even when they mistreat you, Kindness is treating everyone with love and respect. you’re kind to people regardless of who they are or what they have done to you

Selective kindness is not kindness at all, I would have harder a tougher journey if I wasn’t kind, because you find out that the people you help along the way, are people you need coming back. It definitely made my journey smoother.

2. You Can’t Outgrow Imposter Syndrome

This year I battled with imposter syndrome, I’ve always wanted to run a startup, and my dream has always been to build products. Now the opportunity presented itself, and I could be potentially given real cash - to work on my ideas, I struggled to believe I could run a company.

💡 imposter syndrome is a bastard! because no one, including your mentor, came to this world with a manual, we all landed here not knowing what to do. no one knows how this life works, no one!

Self-doubt, shyness, and an I-cant-do-it mentality are not cute at all. I saw people I was as good as, or even better posture their way into success while I was still busy trying to stack some credits that prove I could lead. my advice for you is to have more faith in yourself. If there’s anything you want to do, go ahead and do it!

3. Your Body Holds Wisdom of the Ages

I’ve jumped on a moving train

I’ve taken a 360 turn from the airport on a non-refundable ticket

I’ve trusted complete strangers with my belongings

I’ve done these only when I strongly believe I should, only being guided by my intuition. I’ve done so many weird things, people would call me crazy, things people would NEVER do.

I live in a magical world, I am magic myself, from a young age I have been very in tune with my intuition. I’ve always known life is more than what I see, I have heavily relied on my instincts to form relationships, get jobs and opportunities, and experience some of life's best moments.

The supernatural is like the backend of an application, it feeds everything you see. Everything you see is just a stimulation of the spiritual, your intuition is a signal from your subconcious mind connected to the supernatural

So tell me why, when it was telling me to leave, I still stayed. I was so scared of what people would say

• ”Favour gave up”

• “Favour couldn’t work hard enough”

That I stayed in a situation that my body and mind were resisting so fiercely. I think most of our diseases come from stress, and most of our stress comes from our body and mind not being in sync. Listen to your body

4. Somewhere in the Spectrum🏳️‍🌈

Finding out I was somewhere in the spectrum (won’t tell you where) and constantly hearing pastors, friends, family members, and partners castigate, mock, preach against, cast, and bind queer & gay people, did a number on my mental health.

I think I’ve always known since I was 16, that I was somewhat different, but I didn’t tie that difference to my hip, in my head I was just magical. I was magical and there was no need for anyone to know, until last year, when the loss of a friendship made me deeply question things

People are okay with you being queer. what people are not okay with is you being queer and christian. I defy gravity, because I’m not just queer, I’m not just Christian, I’m a teacher of the Gospel - my name is literally the Gospel

Every one is welcomed in God’s kingdom, it might annoy you, but truly every one is welcomed in God’s kingdom. no one has any more right to Him than others

For many people, there’s no point to come out, in this harsh wicked world. For me, it is important that I speak up, firstly I lost friendships & relationships already. but its been 10 years of hiding, 10 years. and maybe

I would have hidden forever if I didn’t see other people who loved God and doing His work. I hope that this changes someone’s life and they know they have every right to pull up a chair and eat at God’s table

5. Adventures with Jesus

When I close my eyes, I picture my grandest loftiest goal coming to fruition. for a long time, that image was an Imagination empire, a place where children can come, and turn their ideas into reality, a truly magical world.

This year, through the ups and down, the cold hard nights and mornings living in new cities. the liquid warm love of Jesus was very visible in my life. I’ve tasted the love of Jesus, I had this union with Him thats so wonderful to watch

Last year, every time I close my eyes, I would see Jesus, and He would hold my hand, and we would go on this journey. I’m always a child in these dreams, a young happy child, and you know what Jesus and I do, we smell flowers.

He walks me through fields of flowers, showing me plants, explaining how he created them, sometimes we go to the waterfall.

when I wake up I always come up with new ideas, remnants of those sparkly times, I write them down or sometimes I forget. some of my best ideas have come from these moments.

6. Relearning Morality at My Big Age

When I was young things were divided into two; good or bad

The good things were going to church, being kind, respecting elders and getting good grades

The bad things were drinking. smoking, sex before marriage, and lying etc

All people who did good things were good, and all people who did bad things were bad

As I grew older I began to see that this wasn’t the case at all, people were very fluid, good today, bad tomorrow, and most importantly, people who did ‘bad things’ were not bad people. Bad people who smoked and drank, were also nice and sweet and kind

Good people who went to church and got good grades were judgmental, dishonest, and very unkind. where do you draw the line?

Relearning Morality now as an adult, made me shift my lenses from judging people to seeing them as humans. It helped me to choose friends and relationships, now rather than making friends with ‘church goers’ or ‘non-smokers’ I make friends with people who treat others with kindness and respect

7. Embrace Loss & Grief

I feel like I’ve lost a lot of things in this life, thankfully I’ve not lost a loved one (cos if I did ehn, I wonder what would happen to me)

I feel like at some point I would outgrow pain, grief and loss. like I thought as I grow old I would develop this ‘Odeshi’ where I don’t get hurt anymore by what people do to me or what happens to me

Losing a relationship led me to start a platform @wildlydeconstructing where I showcase truths and rethink concepts in Christianity. I would never have gotten to this level of intimacy with God, if I didn’t lose that person. yet it was hard & difficult. We never outgrow grief and that sadness you feel when someone leaves your life. It surprises you and comes at you at the weirdest time. I’ve learned not to fight it, I won’t resist those feelings. I’ll let the grief wash over me and wait for the morning when light gets to my soul, I encourage you to do the same ‘ 8. Learning Self-Forgiveness & Kindness

For a long time, I couldn’t forgive myself for my early twenties. I see people doing things in their early 20s, building businesses and doing what they truly want, but all through my early 20s, I had people who told me, I was too young, too inexperienced, too naivete.

it never occurred to me, that I could really pitch myself and build my business at 22, or I could earn money doing what I like, I wanted to prove it all to people, I wish I didnt have to wait, I wish I knew I was very much capable of doing everything I wanted

I’m learning to forgive myself for not believing in myself enough. I’m learning to forgive myself for my mistakes and thats the hardest thing to do. it is through self-forgiveness that we forgive others

9. Love Processes and not Outcomes

   If I can say this a thousand times, I will. Enjoy every bit of the process, don’t slave it out, don’t try to rush through it, or blindly live through it, just breathe and enjoy every moment of it

   Living in another country and working on building a startup and raising funding, somewhere in the back of my head, I knew things might not turn out the way I want them to, it was up to me to leave dejected, if I don’t get the outcome, or to be so immersed in the process, that I forget what the outcome is meant to be.

   Embracing meditation and Yoga helped me live in the moment, before now, I would be so worried about the future that I wouldnt even be in the present. Its a constant rewiring to live in the moment

   Whether you’re pushing a business, building a relationship or writing an application, it could go wrong, it could all go wrong. What would you say you enjoy - what would you say you got out of it, would you have fully immersed yourself in that process?

10. Appreciate and Celebrate Your Milestones

    

    You do so many things that no one sees. No one sees those lonely nights, no one sees when you spend hours figuring out that code, no one sees you when you bite your pillow to hold back your tears. No one sees the long hours you put in and still not get it right. you’re much braver than everyone thinks

    when you cross a milestone, celebrate yourself, whether its finally understanding that code, or reducing your addiction or moving forward, give yourself a wonderful part in the back.

    I celebrate every single milestone I make, whether it's finally writing one single line of code, or speaking publicly, give yourself a tangible gift when you cross that line

    Other times, you expect people to share your happiness, and you get the opposite. They may not care, they may trivialize your accomplishment or they may sincerely not give a damn. Give a damn yourself.

So my dear friends, I could say a whole lot more but this should do. These are lessons I learned from my own experiences, from counsel and from insights drawn from God and wise people. I’ve spent months compiling them, I hope they spark joy and light in your life.

I compiled some podcasts I enjoyed over the course of the year here, I hope you embrace your journey

Share with me your favorite lessons and something that sparked joy in your heart🌺🌺🌺 on my email (herownherogirl@gmail.com) or twitter wildflower.eth

Warmest wishes
Wildflower 🌺